The Gun One

That’s right folks – its been teased and mulled over and put off countless times, but I’m finally doing the one about guns. Im finally addressing this hot-button topic on the blog. Even though my words will probably just fade off into the echo chamber, I have to do it, if only for me.

Be warned – this is an opinion blog written in pure anger. That’s the only way I could get through it, because invariably after my anger comes depression, and if I let it get to that point it’ll never get past the draft board. If you don’t want to be angry, go somewhere else.

This past week, another person went to another school and ended the lives of 17 people. With the same weapon that it has been done with countless times before. With a weapon that’s been specifically designed and engineered and modified to do as much damage to as many things in as little amount of time as possible. It happened again. It happened again. IT. HAPPENED. AGAIN.

I am a teacher. I think most people know this. This week, as a teacher, I had to do the mental exercise one more time. One more time upon the dozens of times I’ve done it since I was hired a year ago. This week, as I was going throughout my day, I consistently stopped myself to think – “What would I do if a shooter came into this school right this second?”

What if it happened during this certain period? How would I go about making sure my students are safe? What about in transition from this class to this class – where are the usually open rooms that I can gather students into? Do I have a key to that room to lock out a dangerous person? What if it was in the cafeteria study hall, or the auditorium? How would I usher my kids to safety? What if it happened before homeroom? What if it happened during my prep period? What if it happened while I was at the other building? What if it happened after school during one of my clubs or ensembles?

This is NOT OKAY. It is not ok that I am forced to repeatedly anticipate and strategize like a military general. It is not ok that I have to be actually legitimately worried that someone might come into my school and try doing harm to my students. To children. It is not ok that this happens with such frequency, let alone that it happens at all.

I shouldn’t have to plan my school day as though it’s an active war zone.

I’m angry. Because let’s face it – this will happen again. If nothing is done to prevent it, to stem the tide, as the case has been countless times before, this will happen again. And the simple truth of it is, it could happen anywhere. It could happen here. And that makes me angry.

I have no illusions about what’s going to happen here. I’m not going to change any minds. The people who agree with me will go ahead and continue agreeing with me, maybe even give this post a like or a share. The people who don’t will sit back on their stock responses that they sit on every single time this happens. And I would like to emphasize that it happens repeatedly. Well I would like to offer a quick rebuttal to some of those stock responses, if only for my own satisfaction.

To the people who will chant “But the bad guys can just kill anyway!” That’s not an excuse to do nothing. Sure, it might realistically still happen – a person who wants to kill badly enough may still find a way to do so – but it could not happen with such frequency, such magnitude, and such consistency. I can absolutely guarantee you that common sense gun laws would put an end to the majority of gun violence (as it has in almost every other modern society).

To the people who will chant “But what about the second amendment? They can’t take our guns!” They absolutely can. My students’ right to not be murdered is absolutely stronger than your right to own a specific hunk of metal. Even as a hunter, even as a sportsman, even as an American, in fact especially so, I would absolutely support any legislation to outlaw guns if I was given the opportunity.

To the people who will chant “But the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun!” Here’s the thing – that bad guy with a gun will have already done his work by the time that good guy can do anything about it. Here’s the other thing – have you ever heard the saying an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure? We are not even putting any real effort into prevention right now. In fact Trump has actively removed methods of prevention. Here’s the other other thing – I think you need to step back and ask yourself why you want weapons of any kind near literal children so badly.

To the people who will chant “But guns don’t kill people, people kill people!” Shut up. Literally just shut up. That argument is only true on a linguistic technicality, and falls apart upon the briefest of scrutiny. The day a man sits in a hotel balcony 30 stories up and kills dozens and injures hundreds without the aid of gunpowder, you’re allowed to talk to me again.

To the people who will chant “But what about the law abiding citizens? Do they deserve to be punished because of a few bad apples?” First of all, those bad apples killed tens of thousands of people in 2017 alone. Second of all, I’ll even give you an exception, even though I don’t want to and you don’t deserve it. Keep your handguns. Keep your hunting rifles and shotguns. Keep your civil war antiques. But literally burn and ban every single automatic or semi-automatic weapon or anything that holds more than maybe 8 bullets. Especially the AR15. If you’re so bad at hunting that you can’t get your quarry without spaying the air with bullets, find a new hobby. If you’re so paranoid about defending your home that you don’t think that a less destructive weapon would be enough, maybe you should move to a country with less gun violence to ease your troubled mind.

To the people who will chant “But the Grizzlies!” Get off my blog and do your job Betsy DeVos. Someone certainly has to.

So that’s my two cents. If you need me, I’ll be keeping a careful watch over my students, as will my colleagues and administration. It certainly seems like no one else is going to.

*Disclaimer: topics like this can be a hotbed for controversy, misinformation, and abuse, so I will be disabling comments on this post. Maybe some day after I’ve calmed down I’d be willing to have a peaceful face-to-face conversation with someone of the opposite opinion – but it is not this day.

Living With ADHD 3: Time Blind

I just recently discovered the anime Death Note. For the past few days I have finished work, sat down on my laptop, and binge-watched this show. I have been absorbed.

Perhaps its nothing too unusual in today’s society – more than one streaming service is set up in a way to easily do this. In fact most probably are designed with binge-watchers in mind. What is probably unusual, however, is that this has happened to the detriment of all other activities. I haven’t practiced in days. I have not been eating healthy. I have not been working on any of my other projects. I have not been communicating well with friends or family. My sleep schedule is bananas. These past 2-3 days, I work for the work day, then I only watch Death Note.

As I write this it is 11:20 at night. Any normal person would probably tell me that I have effectively wasted my whole day. In fact, any normal person might tell me that I have a problem. Guess what, you’re probably right.

I recently read this piece from the website ADDitude, which briefly talks of a common issue people with ADHD experience. They call it time blindness. It mentions a man who found himself losing time when he listened to NPR. He would turn on his radio, and find himself enjoying the program so much, that he would just lose perception of time moving around him. This man would forget to pick up his daughter (from what it does not say), all because he would get lost in his perception of time.

It took me reading this piece to even recognize what was happening in my own life. I had no perception that what I was doing might or might not be ‘normal’. It was just what I was doing. I have never had any illusions that I have good time-management, and that it was probably due to my ADHD. In fact I’ve talked about it before on this blog, saying that all future time and future deadlines seem equidistant to me. It may even have a little bit of something to do with the ‘hyperfocus‘ ability I’ve discussed before.

But now that I recognize it, I recognize it everywhere. I’ve been doing this for years, without even considering it a part of my ADHD. It’s mostly when I find something new. My daily routine is interrupted. I want to consume the whole of this new interesting thing. I want to play the whole game. I want to watch the whole show. I want to read the whole series. Et cetera, et cetera.

I love this. I hate this. I am constantly learning about myself and my disorder. I love learning new things. I hate learning that ADHD has disrupted my life. This is the dichotomy I live through every day.

But now that I know that I do it, I want to know why, and I want to know how to control it. I tend to do a lot of research when I make discoveries like this. I want to learn more. It becomes my new ‘new thing’, which in turn makes me time blind. As I write this it’s going on 12:30 in the morning. Maybe time management is not the skill I will learn today.

I will never completely understand my disorder, but the more I learn, perhaps the better I can use it, and wouldn’t that be an interesting thing?

Image credit: http://www.pexels.com

6 Christmas Albums to Fix Your Christmas Spirit

Losing your Christmas spirit because of all the political BS? (I know I am.) Or maybe because of something a little closer to home? Are the classics just not doing it for you anymore, leaving you in a Christmas funk? Never fear, because I know how to find your good cheer once again – through the power of music! My Christmas gift to you is my list of the 6 (well 8) best albums to reignite your Christmas spirit in time for the holiday.

6. Peter Hollens – A Hollens Family Christmas

Peter Hollens is one of those guys you’ve probably only heard of if you follow a specific music community on YouTube. A handful of his videos have gone viral, which has done a lot to bring awareness to his talent, but he has nowhere near the recognition he deserves. His love for his family and his community shines through in this album. Its the perfect music to wrap or bake to. Listen to a family man as you do things for your family.

5. Canadian Brass – A Christmas Experiment

The sound of a brass quintet instantly puts me in a holiday mood, be it Christmas, Easter, Arbor Day, or what have you. And when it comes to brass quintets, the first group to come to mind is the Canadian Brass. The Canadian Brass have been a part of the holidays ever since their first Christmas album in the early 80’s, but the addition of a childrens’ choir in this album just gives it that little extra push to put you back in the mood for celebrating the season.

 

4. Sam Robson – A Capella Christmas

Sam Robson is one of those guys I just kind of absently put on in the background when I don’t know what music to listen to. He has a talent for taking traditional hymns and carols (and more recently Disney songs) and presenting them in a way that just feels right between the tight harmonies and creative composition. A great collection of traditional carols and popular songs for those looking for a modern a capella twist on a good old-fashioned hymn-sing.

3. Leslie Odom Jr. – Simply Christmas (deluxe edition)

Want something with a bit more mellow feel? Like a little bit of jazz with a slight melancholy tinge? The Vince Guaraldi aesthetic gets a fresh update with one of my favorite Christmas albums from the past couple years, which just got an upgrade with the addition of 4 new songs in the deluxe edition. Curl up by the yule log in your favorite sweater with a mug of your favorite tea for this one and just let your worries melt away.

 

2. The Oh Hellos – The Oh Hellos’ Family Christmas Album

I’ve talked about this brother-sister duo on this blog before. This short EP easily became my favorite Christmas album of all time after saving my holiday spirit (and let’s be honest, my faith in many things) after last years election. The album is basically one big Christmas medley, comprised of four ‘movements’, coming full circle by ending the way it begins. It is an extremely satisfying listen and easily tops my Christmas list.

1. Pentatonix – PTXmas, That’s Christmas to Me, A Pentatonix Christmas (deluxe edition)

This is the only entry with multiple albums by the same artist, and is probably the most predictable entry. I’ll be honest, I couldn’t pick just one. The a capella pop sensation Pentatonix takes the classic songs you know and explores them in new and interesting ways, but without taking away the ability to sing along. This group of master arrangers and fantastic singers have certainly found their niche. Just don’t think about Avi leaving and these guys can pull you back into a Christmas high.

I hope these suggestions start you back on the path to a little Christmas cheer. I pray next year we can all find celebrating a little bit easier.

Merry Christmas.

Living With ADHD 2: The Fog

At this very moment, I am –

• Watching an episode of Family Guy on tv
• Listening to The Oh Hellos’ new album in spotify
• Watching a Vine compilation on youtube
• Keeping tabs on 5 different social media profiles
• Actively messaging in my group chat
• Planning a DnD campaign
• Writing a blog post
• Oh, and I was just playing Oblivion before I started writing this

And you know what’s funny? I’m kinda bored.

Over-stimulation is nothing new in my life. Ever since I can remember – if I’m reading something, I’m also listening to music. If I’m writing something, I’ve also got something on the tv. If I’m watching a movie, I’m also playing a game. If I’m practicing, I’m watching something on youtube. It’s not something I ever really actively do, it just sorta happens. Just adding distractions to the pile.

It starts simply enough. I’ll turn something on the tv just to fill up the empty space while my fiancee (OH MY GOD SHE’S MY FIANCEE) is at work, then I’ll start trolling through social media, chatting online, reading interesting articles, doing research, practicing, whatever, and it’s just sort of built up.

Let me stress, however, that I am not really doing any one of these things with any sort of efficiency. Focusing my thoughts into something efficient takes effort. I’m still distracted, but I can spend energy to lure my thoughts into a specific direction. Often it works, sometimes it doesn’t. This is my work day. This is me when I need to ‘get stuff done.’

Not now though. I’m just mentally moving from task to task as it appears in my head, without any real sense of organization. This is me unfocused. This is me idle.

This is me relaxed.

As I said in my previous post on Living With ADHD, I live in a fog of constant half-thoughts and static. After spending a day of focusing my thoughts, even just a few hours, it feels amazing to just let my mind wander. I’ll turn things on, I’ll open multiple articles, have open multiple games, not really devoting my full focus to any one thing. It’s a kind of daily release. In the way you might let a dog out of it’s kennel, I’m letting my mind out of its focus. Where others might go home and relax by engaging in their favorite hobby, I go home and relax by engaging in my every hobby.

It may seem like chaos, but for this guy it’s pure bliss.

Image credits:

• http://www.interfaces.com/blog/2011/02/multitasking-myth/
• http://thecuriousbrain.com/?p=17782
• https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/18/meditation-brain-activity_n_5338222.html
• http://www.shutterstock.com

How You Can Help Right Now: Vegas

I woke up today to the same news you did.

I woke up to the news that dozens were dead and hundreds were injured.

I went through my day and watched the numbers climb.

20 dead. 40 dead. 60 dead.

100 injured. 300 injured. 500 injured.

I was angry. I was ready to preach platitudes of gun control, nonviolence, and peace.

Then I had another thought;

What’s the point?

All I was going to do was have people who agree with me agree with me more. All I was going to do was make people who disagree with me disagree with me more. I wasn’t going to change any minds. I wasn’t going to be any help at all.

I spiraled. My inability to help those who really needed help became my inability to be a good christian. My uselessness in a situation literally a continent away became my uselessness as a person. My anger became sadness. I became hopeless. I became worthless.

Then I hit a turning point. I had a thought: I can’t be the only person feeling this way. I can’t be the only person wanting to help, but without the knowledge or means.

So I did some research. And I want to pass that research along.

I am going to try and make this a regular series on this blog. The nation doesn’t seem ready to try and stop disasters from happening, but I’ll be damned if the nation stops me from helping. As I hear of major natural disasters and massacres, I will collect information on ways that anybody can help or contribute, whether they are local, national, or abroad. Look for the HYCHRN category, or the HYCHRN tag.

If I missed a charity or organization that you know about, please comment. I will edit as information becomes available to me.

How You Can Help Right Now

If you are local, and you are able, please consider donating blood. United Blood Services has a link on their front page that allows you to locate the nearest donation center to you. Be aware though, there is currently quite a wait. Even if you are not local, please consider donating to your local donation center. Vegas sees a lot of tourism from all over. Not to mention with the sheer volume of victims, Vegas hospitals may try shipping some of the less severe victims to farther hospitals to prevent overflow.

Steve Sisolak, the Clark County Commission Chair, has started a GoFundMe page to provide financial support and relief to the victims and their families.

The Red Cross, specifically the Southern Nevada Chapter, and Volunteers in Medicine in Southern Nevada have been providing physical and mental health care for victims and their families.

It is also important to remember in the wake of a disaster like this to be careful about the information you are circulating. Many rumors crop up from anonymous and unconfirmed sources. Please only read or share factual news from verified news sources.

Please share this post if you feel as helpless as I did. I don’t care what your politics are, what your beliefs are, or where you’re from. Hopefully we can all agree to come together and help the victims of tragedies such as this.

Trump v Sports

Remember that time I ran a blog?

And like, updated it regularly and stuff?

Apparently some people actually read this crap, and have been requesting a return to form. So I’m coming back to the blog in a big way.

In the past week we have seen a very divisive subject come up. This is, to date, the most sensitive topic I have tackled on this blog.

In truth, the trouble didn’t all start this past week. In 2016, an NFL player named Colin Kaepernick sat on the bench rather than standing for the National Anthem before his games, saying that he would stand for the national anthem again when the flag better represented what it was supposed to: a nation who did not allow oppression of people of color. In later games he opted to kneel rather than sit, wishing to show better respect for former and current members of the US military while still protesting the national neglect and oppression of people of color. This sparked controversy and debates across the country as to whether this act was justified, or even appropriate.

This past week, the fire was reignited when NBA player Steven Curry, a member of the championship team Golden State Warriors, said to the press that the team was still not sure if they would accept a standing invitation to the White House. Trump, in true Trumpish fashion, took to twitter, revoking his invitation to Curry himself because of his ‘hesitation.’ Curry was surprised to be singled out in this way, even though there was consensus among the team that they would rather not go. The team decided to be as one, and to wholly refuse the invitation to the White House.

That started things. From there, there was back and forth between members of the NFL and Trump, which involved many coaches supporting their players ability to make statements for causes they believed in, and Trump ranting on twitter and at his political rallies about how it should be an honor to be at the White House for anybody, even going as far as calling anyone who refused to stand for the National Anthem a ‘son of a bitch.’

What a presidential tone, right?

Today, in response to Trump’s comments, and in solidarity with the larger community of black people and people of color, many athletes opted to kneel or even refused to take the field for the National Anthem.

I’ve seen many comments from many different people regarding this, from friends to celebrities to strangers to political figures. I would just like to offer arguments to some of the responses I’ve seen. My goal here is not to rant, dismiss, or scold; my goal here is to offer calm and reasonable counterpoints to the statements I’ve seen.

But they should be proud to be part of this country! – Would you take pride in a nation, organization, or otherwise that consistently and systematically dismissed you, worked against you, and even acted violently towards you because of something you had no control over? ‘But that doesn’t happen!’ Yes it does. If you don’t see it, you’re choosing not to see it. Even if we exclude government and government bodies we see active racism all over. News stories roll in almost daily about people of color, especially black people and people of middle-eastern descent, being beaten and sometimes killed in the name of patriotism. Especially after the election, racial violence and intolerance ran unchecked, even among schools and sacred places. Heck, think of two of the groups that have been acting out recently: the alt-right(i.e. actual nazis) and the KKK.

Take race out of it. Heck, take the violence out of it. Apply the situation to yourself. Say you have brown eyes. Imagine if at your job, in your community, and in your government, most people had blue eyes, and these people made the rules. Many of these blue-eyed people may not actively hate brown-eyed people, in fact many of them have friends with brown eyes, but they don’t really consider the life of brown-eyed people, leaving you, with brown eyes, at an inherent disadvantage. Imagine things are set up specially designed for blue-eyed people, but it doesn’t really work for brown-eyed people. Imagine that these blue-eyed people tend to favor other blue-eyed people in the work force, making you with brown eyes less likely to be hired, and when you are hired you tend to make less money.

Would you have pride in that sort of place?

But they’re disrespecting the veterans! – I remind you, originally Kaepernick sat. He changed his protest specifically in response to this criticism. He wanted to honor those who gave their lives, but did not want his protest to be dismissed. And I would like to challenge you here: is what these athletes are doing really that disrespectful? Like really? They aren’t dismissing the veterans. Really they aren’t dismissing anybody. If you look at the pictures, many of the players even have their hands over their hearts as they kneel. Nobody is being hurt by this. This isn’t being done to exclude anybody. Union strikes are more intense than this. Store boycotts are more hardcore than this. This is a reasonable and respectable protest. To give my opinion, using the veterans as an excuse for your argument is not a real argument, it is merely being dismissive for the sake of being dismissive.

But is the football game really the time or place? – It’s the only time and place they have. Thousands of people watch football and other American sports. I would argue that I would rather have them representing a cause that they believe in than representing the kind of beer their owners think I should drink.

They should be fired! People from the Charlottesville protest got fired for representing what they believed in, and they weren’t even at their jobs! – First of all, if you are seriously equating people who believe all people should be treated equally to people who literally believe in killing an entire race of people, I have some special words for you that I won’t write here. But that’s not the point of this blog post. The people from Charlottesville were acting hatefully, violently, and for a cause our country has literally fought against. These athletes, in contrast, are acting thoughtfully, peacefully, and most importantly in the interest of others. This is not a selfish act. This is solidarity.

This is their job. They don’t have a right to their opinions at their job. – Here is where I might hurt some feelings. I just want to remind you that my goal here is to be reasonable, calm, and make an intelligent argument. I am not just repeating political rhetoric, and I hope anyone who gives a response to this would have the same consideration.

In a world where federal government and lawmakers are not addressing the problems plaguing the nation, maybe we need the football players, and the basketball players, the country artists, the late night TV hosts, and the unofficial national park twitters of the world to bring it back to their attention. To make them think about it. To make them consider it. To give the disenfranchised and misrepresented a voice.

In a world where the people whose jobs it is to make the world better actively make it worse, maybe we need the entertainers, the musicians, the athletes, and the everyday people to challenge them.

I have made this statement multiple times before: To expect patriotism for patriotism’s own sake is hollow at best, dictatorial at worst. Pride in something doesn’t come from nowhere. Respect for something doesn’t come from nothing. To expect someone to be patriotic because they just should be is unreasonable.

“Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.”

I’m not saying we need to overthrow the government. I’m just saying that maybe the existing government shouldn’t be followed, celebrated, and respected unquestioned. My views on Trump are pretty easy to pick up on, even if you don’t know me that well. You’ll notice I don’t once call him ‘president.’ That’s on purpose. I don’t respect the man. However, I am glad to live in America. There’s a lot in this country to love. I would argue that’s all the more reason to challenge our leaders and hold them to a higher standard.

I fully expect that there will be people who disagree with me. I fully expect that even some of the people closest to me might disagree with me. I fully expect that some people may want to comment to show their disagreement. I will not delete dissenting comments, or comments that argue against what I have said. What I will do is delete comments intended to attack or hurt myself or others. I think that is more than reasonable.

I support those who #TakeTheKnee. I don’t ask you to agree with it, I don’t ask you to like it, I only ask you to accept it.

My Past 3 Weeks

Hello folks,

Welcome back to the blog.

Or maybe, welcome me back to the blog.

Allow me to explain my absence the past few weeks: my summer got really busy, really quickly. I’ve slept in my own bed twice since June 24th, and I’ve still got a couple more days on the road until I can enjoy some proper do-nothing summer vacation.

But anyway, to get things back on track as I sit here sleepless at 3am, why don’t I fill you in?

Part One: Camp

On June 24th I left for Pocono Plateau Music Camp, for which I am a counselor. Unfortunately, my week would be colored by my Grandmother passing away after a rapid and somewhat unexpected decline of health late that first night. Fortunately, I was surrounded by probably the only group people who could have stopped me from spiraling and succumbing to my depression. The love I felt that week is hard to put into words, but I am grateful for it. Music camp went on as it tends to, even despite a small group of campers, and I was swept up in the music of camp songs and worship, wrapping up the week with a powerful arrangement of Shout to the Lord the following Saturday. Camp was over, and home I went.

Part Two: Florida

During my week at camp I was in constant communication with my family trying to stay informed of family happenings and planning concerning the death of my Grandma. The funeral would be Saturday the 8th at her home church in Florida. My parents were in Michigan at the time at our church’s business conference, and my brother was at my parents’ home. After spending a night at home, I made my way to my parents’ home to spend a couple days taking care of the dogs, waiting to fly down south as my parents drove.

We flew down and got to work packing Grandma’s things and moving Grandpa into his new apartment at the local provider for assisted living. Days of sweating, moving furniture, and visiting with family went by, and finally Saturday came. Her service was a lovely tribute to her life and family, and church the next morning was ripe as well with stories remembering her. We drove home as a family Sunday after worship, through the night, arriving at my parents’ home around 9:30 Monday morning.

Before I move on to part 3, I would like to share a quick memory of my Grandma. I learned my love of puzzles from her. She would often have a table with a half-finished puzzle whenever I would visit or would have a Sudoku book she was working on. I can think of several family get-togethers and vacations where we’d work our way together through puzzle after puzzle, sometimes finishing 10 or more puzzles in the space of a week. Just simple time spent working together, enjoying the company, and never, ever hiding the last piece to make sure I was the one to finish the puzzle.

Part Three: Friendship

Monday morning, I quickly helped unpack the truck, repacked my stuff into my car, and made my way to a friends-vacation of sorts. It was a much needed week of friendship. We solved an escape room, we played games, we cooked, we drank, we ate burritos, and we made music. We all had other obligations during the week, such as rehearsals or interviews, but it was very important to me that we could still make the time for each other despite our hectic schedules. It was a fantastic 4 days of pure friendship.

Part Four: This Weekend

Thursday I left my friends for a relaxed evening at home, spent Friday with my girlfriend and then came back to my parents’ home. An old friend from my childhood youth group is getting married this weekend, and I expect I will be seeing a lot of people that I haven’t seen in years, and I’m looking forward to connecting with them again. Today is the wedding, then I will stick around to play in worship tomorrow, and then I will be home.

Part Five: Home

Home. For the rest of the summer. To do as little as possible.

For like 2 more weeks anyway because marching band starts hardcore in August.

Oh my God where did my summer go?

Regular posting will resume as of next week.

Steam Sale Recommendations: 2017 Summer Sale

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT FRIENDS

It’s time for some game recommendations to help distract you from whatever ails. Steam has just started its annual summer sale. Fortunately (from a writing standpoint, unfortunately from a deal standpoint) there are no more daily deals because of Steam’s refund policy, so rather than doing one post for each daily sale, I am going to go through as much of the sales as I can in search of the best deals I can find.

So here’s how this is going to work: I am going to split things up into 3 categories, just for the sake of organization. The first category is going to be tried-and-true games that I personally have played, which I believe are good deals based on the price they are going for in the sale. Most, if not all, of the games in this category are going to be less than $10. The second category are going to be newer titles, again, which I personally have played, which aren’t quite old enough to be getting the 75% discounts and you’re not sure whether you want to be spending $30-40 on a game you’re not sure you’ll like. Finally, the third category are games that I do not yet own, but I will be taking a chance on based on either the deal or my research on how good of a game it is.

Games are in no particular order, other than the order I find them on steam. Additionally, I will not be including any early access games. Finished games only for this guy.

AND AWAY WE GO.

Category 1: The Tried-and-True

1. Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor – $3.99

Ever just wanna kill a bunch of Orcs? I know I get that urge from time to time. Story-wise, this is Monolith Productions’ attempt at adding to the already substantial lore of JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings. It is set in Mordor, happening between the events of The Hobbit and Fellowship of the Ring. Gameplay-wise, it’s all the best parts of Assassin’s Creed and the Batman Arkham series. Open world, RPG elements, combat is more than satisfying, and it’s made all the more interesting by the unique Nemesis system which allows you to form rivalries within a system of Orc chiefs and warlords.

2. Portal Bundle (Portal + Portal 2) – $2.23

Valve’s ultimate puzzle game series. If you haven’t played these games before, you owe it to yourself to get them if for no other reason than a bit of cultural education. Both games were a cultural phenomenon due to their brilliant dark humor, interesting portal-based puzzles, and a vague enough story to allow for hundreds if not thousands of hours of online theorizing in the form of reddit threads, youtube videos, and blog posts.

3. Borderlands 2 – $4.99

This is the second of an ongoing series of first-person shooter games, and generally considered the best. Full of irreverent humor at best, this game certainly doesn’t lack in surprises. Not personally one of my favorite games, because I’m not crazy about FPS games, but it’s popular enough that I’d consider $5 quite a bargain.

4. Dishonored – $2.49

If you like stealth games, or if you particularly enjoy the Dark Brotherhood quests in Skyrim, this game gets a big recommendation from me. You are the personal bodyguard for the Queen of the realm, who gets assassinated under your watch, landing you the blame. In your quest for redemption, you gain access to an array of powers and tech that allow for a wide variety of play-styles, which makes every level an exercise in problem-solving with multiple approaches and solutions possible.

5. FTL: Faster Than Light – $2.49

FTL is a procedurally generated strategy game where you are the captain of your own space ship, and you must fight your way to the center of Federation space to warn and defend your people from an invading rebel force. You manage power and systems and assign crew members to get the most out of your ship as you fight through random encounters and attempt to upgrade your ship. At times it can be laptop-throwingly frustrating, but the challenge keeps the game interesting for hours and hours.

6. Mass Effect 2 – $4.99

By far my favorite 3rd-person shooter from one of my favorite game series. If you want to play it for the story, I recommend starting with the first Mass Effect, which you can actually get bundled with this game for $8.74. However the reason I list this game by itself is because it so far outshines the rest of the series, both in terms of story and in gameplay. You are Commander Shepard, the only one aware of threat that could be a galaxy-wide apocalypse. You gather a ragtag team of soldiers and scientists for a suicide mission to put off the threat a little longer. It really is just the best kind of story.

7. Styx: Master of Shadows – $4.99

Remember my blurb about Dishonored? Copy and paste here, except you’re a smartass goblin named Styx who is trying to save your friend in a human military installment.

8. 80 Days – $3.99

Enter Jules Verne’s classic adventure as French valet Passepartout, helping your master Phileas Fogg win his wager to make it around the world in 80 days. Make choices, take risks, and manage your resources as well as the health of your master as you go on the grandest adventure.

9. This War of Mine $3.99

Not so much ‘fun’ as challenging, you play as a group of civilians in a warzone. Your goal is to survive, and what that means is up to you. Will you steal, murder, and loot just to look out for you and yours? Will you team up with your community and share precious resources? This is personally one of my top 5 games, and I would even recommend grabbing the DLC “The Little Ones” for $2.49 which adds another layer of gameplay in adding children that you have to teach to survive the horrors of war.

10. Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons – $1.49

Gameplay is best described as ‘single-player co-op’. You are going to want a controller for this game. You play as two brothers, controlling one with the left side of the controller, and the other with the right side. Admittedly a simple game, and short, this is the best example I can think of that uses gameplay and game mechanics as a means of storytelling. This is not a game that you want to watch a letsplay of, this is a game best experienced on your own.

Category 2: The Tried-and-New

1. Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt GOTY edition – $24.99

Nearly 2 years old, and considered by many to be one of the best RPGs of all time, getting this game and both expansions for $25 is one of the best deals currently on steam. I’d recommend this game even for a higher pricetag. This games still tops my personal list of favorite games and will likely remain there for a long time. If you want all the gritty details of the story up to this point, you have a whole series of short stories and novels to get through as well as 2 games. Luckily, you don’t need to. There are references to the old stories littered throughout the game, but CD Projekt Red made it accessible to newcomers to the series as well. I certainly recommend the old games, and they are currently on sale, but they have not aged well, so did not make it to my Tried and True list.

2. Stardew Valley – $8.99

Remember the old Harvest Moon games? Did you feel slightly restricted by those games and wish you could design the layout to your farm yourself? Well this is the game for you! Don’t take the comparison lightly; add a few minecraft mechanics, then switch out the anime art style for a pixelated one, and you’ve successfully transitioned from Harvest Moon to Stardew Valley. A wonderfully addictive farming simulator, that didn’t make my Tried and True list only because the discount could be bigger. I wouldn’t fault you for waiting a year or so for a cheaper deal.

3. Rocket League -$11.99

Again, I might wait for a lower sale on this one, but as it stands 40% is not a bad discount for a game this new and this popular. It’s soccer with rocket powered cars. What more could you want?

4. Fallout 4 – $14.99

Have you played fallout 3? Here’s more with updated graphics! The story is not as strong as others in the Fallout series, but it does slightly improve the shooter mechanics, and if fallout 4 is just fallout 3 with better shooter mechanics then it’s definitely not a bad game. If you have never played any of the previous fallout shooters, I would further recommend the Fallout Bundle for $24.89, which includes the old Strategy RPGs (1, 2, tactics), the old Shooters (3, NV), AND Fallout 4 with the season pass for all of its DLC. That’s a hell of a deal, especially since I would recommend NOT buying either 4 or its DLC at normal price. Definitely not a bad game, but hardly game of the year.

5. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Special Edition – $19.99

Didn’t catch one of the dozen releases since 2013? You’re in luck! Skyrim special edition is the same game plus DLC with slightly improved visuals! (I’m being a bit glib, because this is by no means a new game, but seriously Skyrim is a good game, and if you haven’t grabbed it up yet, grab it up now.)

Category 3: The New-to-Me

1. Sid Meier’s Civilization VI – $35.99

I am a big fan of the Civ games, and this entry has seen a lot of mixed reviews. It seems that Civ 6 features some major mechanic changes. Lets be honest though, the game mechanics haven’t changed much since Civ 3, and we’re due for a shakeup. I like what I’ve seen so far, and I’m of the opinion that even a bad Civ game would probably still be a good game, so I will be taking the risk on this one.

2. Dishonored 2 – $19.99

I really, REALLY enjoyed the first Dishonored game. Stealth games are right up my alley – meticulous strategy, multiple creative approaches to problems, plus you feel like freaking batman – so even if it’s just more Dishonored, I’ll like it. It seems to be doing well so far on Steam; overall positive reviews, and plenty of awards on display, so this is another one I will be taking a risk on.

3. Styx: Shards of Darkness – $23.99

I hate to use the same trick twice, but really just see above. If it’s just another stealth game and just more Styx, I’ll love it.

There you go! A list of 10, a list of 5, and a list of 3: my official steam summer sale recommendations. There are certainly more good games on sale and more good deals, but really I had to stop the lists somewhere. I may comment later with a few honorable mentions, but I’ve been working on this post for 5 hours now, and I want to play some of my new games. I hope this is helpful as you navigate the discounts and under 5s over the next weeks. If any new and interesting sales pop up, I may edit this post.

Steam Summer Sale lasts from June 22 to July 5. Watch letsplays, read reviews, and shop responsibly. Don’t fall for hype culture.

 

*Edit!!!!

I’ve bought more games!

Momodora: Reverie Under the Moonlight – $6.99

I’ll be honest, I bought this one because of the trailer alone. It looks interesting, a 2d sidescroll metroidvania witchcraft extravaganza. The artstyle is appealing and the combat looks satisfying. I’m looking forward to trying this one out.

Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes – $4.94

I’ve been looking forward to getting this game for a while, I’ve just been waiting for a sale. This is a co-operative game where one player is looking at a bomb, trying to defuse it, and the other player has a manual telling how to defuse it. The problem is, the components are completely different each time, so you must communicate to survive.

Living With ADHD

If there is one thing I enjoy, it is learning new things. If there is something I enjoy more than that, it’s learning new things about myself. Nowhere does this fascination manifest itself better than in my relationship with my own disorder: ADHD. I love watching a new video about ADHD or reading an article, because it usually gives me a ‘Eureka’ moment. Something just clicks. So that’s why I behave this way. So that’s why I react negatively to this specific circumstance. In so many words, so that’s what’s wrong with me.

Disclaimer: I am not an expert on ADHD. I am not a medical journalist, heck I’m not even a journalist. I’m just a guy who grew up with a mental disorder, who’s trying to pass on a bit of his experience.

First thing’s first, let me tell you what ADHD is not. ADHD is not being distractible. ADHD is not being excitable. ADHD is not ‘lol im so random.’ Sometimes those things are a PART of ADHD, but those things by themselves are NOT ADHD.

“My mom tells me I have ADHD because of how random I am OH LOOK A SQUIRREL.” That is a statement that has been actually said to me. It makes you cringe, right? To go further, that is a statement that has been actually said to me by a person that I can guarantee you does NOT have ADHD. That was a person seeking a laugh. A child with ADHD, even if that was what actually was happening in their head, would not be able to string that statement together amidst the distraction. A teenager with ADHD would rarely have a group around them that they could make that joke to. An adult with ADHD would be as frustrated with that joke as I am.

It’s a little bit like the difference between being super organized and having OCD. Just because you are organized, does not mean you have OCD. In fact, some might argue if you can break your routine enough to make yourself organized, you probably don’t have OCD. Or the difference between being sad and depressed. Just because you are sad sometimes, or even a lot of the time, does not make you depressed. In fact, some might argue if you can actually feel the feeling of sadness, you probably don’t have depression. These might be generalizations and overstatements, but I hope my point is coming across. Just because you have something that’s associated with the thing, doesn’t mean you have the thing.

So what’s the difference? How do I know that I have ADHD and that I’m not just distractible? One of my favorite speakers on ADHD, Russell Barkley, says it this way: “Disorders begin when impairment begins.” In other words, a disorder prevents you from doing stuff.

ADHD, academically speaking, is sort of a spectrum right now, much in the way autism is. There are people in the academic and medical communities that are trying to split it up into specific disorders with different names and different subtle differences, but I think grouping it all into the same curve is good enough for right now rather than trying to go into specifics of ADD and SCT and further. The cause is up for debate; some people say it is the result of genetics. Some have attributed it to pesticides in drinking water, or exposure to smoke or sugar. Some even blame TV and video games, and some go as far as to blame parenting. I’m not going to sit here and debunk each and every one of these claims, that’s not what this post is about. Suffice it to say that, in my personal opinion and experience, genetics is your best bet.

One thing I will address though, is the people that don’t even believe ADHD exists. I can hear it now almost as clearly as the dozens of times I’ve heard it before. “We didn’t have all these fancy diseases even a few decades ago. All it is is just doctors giving bad behavior an excuse.” You know what else we didn’t know even a few decades ago? How dangerous lead was. It was in literally everything, for literally no reason. You know what else was big just a few decades ago? Asbesthos! Heck, a few decades ago a significant amount of our population still wasn’t allowed to vote based on their skin color. But we know better now don’t we? That’s the thing about time, it keeps moving, and things rarely stay constant, even science and knowledge. Previous ignorance of a thing does not disprove a thing.

Here’s what I know: I have ADHD, and it has impacted my life in a multitude of ways.

Any expert will tell you that the big points of ADHD are impulsivity, hyperactivity, and inattention. Some people will attribute more symptoms, such as a lack of motivation, a lack of social skills, poor memory, but I think that those can all be traced back to the big three. When I was young, I used to literally cling to the people I called my friends. I did a lot of weird things, such as attempting to jump over people, taking things that I hadn’t asked for, sometimes I’d stick my face right in another persons face. I had no semblance of personal space, but there was no barrier in my mind that told me any of this was inappropriate, even as I was being scolded and punished by teachers, and bullied and beat up by my peers. I’d think in the moment, ‘Oh, that was bad. I shouldn’t do that again.’ But the barrier wasn’t there. I’d get an impulse, and I’d act on that impulse.

To begin explaining how it has affected me, let me explain one more thing: ADHD has nothing to do with knowledge. I personally can be a testament to that fact. All through my school career I would get fantastic test scores and excellent grades. I was frequently on the honor roll in high school and graduated cum laude. College was rougher admittedly, but I still graduated with about a 3.5 gpa and 2 degrees. ADHD is not a knowledge disorder. Again, to quote Russell Barkley, “It is a performance disorder.”

ADHD is often mistaken for selfishness or laziness. Procrastination is a common trait with those who have ADHD. Not because we’re inherently lazy, but because we are inherently unable to deal with time in an organized manner. Mentally, next Tuesday is as distant from me as the first Tuesday in November. Distant deadlines are all equally distant. Procrastination happens when the distant deadline becomes an imminent deadline, and suddenly it’s the foremost thing in my mind and it’s a crisis it has to get done right damn now and why didn’t I just start this before ok I have 7 hours before this is due where are my materials where is my research what was the prompt ok now I have 6 hours I can hammer out a rough draft in 2 and then go to sleep and I’ll set my alarm for 7 so I have an hour to edit before I have to walk to class and…

Of course all of that could have been prevented, which is why people will call it laziness. I knew what the deadline was, and I had plenty of time. Luckily, I’ve been able to train myself a little. I know now that breaking something down into multiple deadlines can get things done in a much more timely manner. I still procrastinate to each deadline, but big projects are now multiple little projects. I am not always able to implement this strategy, but I have overcome some of the difficulty.

In my life, ADHD has manifested as noise. Static if you will. I am constantly fighting through a fog of half-thoughts and flittering ideas. There is a layer of my mind that has melodies repeating over themselves, partial conversations both had and imagined, recollections and new ideas, all fighting for the foremost of my attention against what is happening around me right here and now. For me personally, it tends to effect my speech. I’ll begin a sentence, instantly lose the point of my sentence amid the distractions, and then…. Age and experience have taught me to apologize and say I forgot my point, laugh at myself, and move on. Younger me would either trail off, or continue babbling and talking until I either found the point I set out to make or found another interesting point. It all worked very well in my head, but the train of thought did not always translate to my listeners.

The noise isn’t always internal either. I’ll hear a noise, my mind will start following it, and I’ll suddenly have the realization “Oh, that’s something happening down the hall.” This literally just happened to me as I was writing the last paragraph.

Hyperfocus: The ADHD Super Power

One interesting thing that has manifested itself through my ADHD is a little counterintuitive. I have the ability to hyperfocus on things. Basically what that means, is that I can focus on one thing for extended periods of time to the exclusion of all else, almost like a trance, which doesn’t really work in the typical ADHD model. If I’m so distractible and inattentive, how could I possibly have this ability? This is an aspect of myself that I am still learning about, but what little reading I’ve done is that it typically happens with things that are psychologically rewarding. It could be something like reading, or playing a game, or watching a show. Something with instant feedback. I’ve been known to accidentally miss meals, not noticing my own hunger during a particularly intense gaming session or while reading a particularly good book. I’ll start in the early afternoon and suddenly I’ll look at the clock and it’ll be past midnight.

Before I close things out, the following must be said. My experience with ADHD is not THE experience with ADHD. Each person who has it can be affected by it in a completely different way. Some will be more hyperactive, some more forgetful. Some will have more symptoms, some will have less. Some people with ADHD are able to use it to succeed, others are quite inhibited by it. That in no way dismisses my experience or any one else’s experience with the disorder.

Unfortunately, even if I broke this article down into several parts and continued writing for weeks, I could never convey to you my entire ADHD experience. At least not in a cohesive manner. That would take time I don’t have and practically a degree in psychology. The longer I sit here typing, the more examples and anecdotes and aspects I can come up with, which I guess is in part due to my ADHD. I could talk about medicine, I could talk more about the argument against ADHD’s existence, I could break it down more into its different types, or I could talk more about my experience growing up. In fact, one day I might. Consider this an overview, a peek into the world of a man and his mental disorder.

image credits:

• http://www.salon.com/2017/02/16/kids-with-adhd-have-some-smaller-brain-regions-than-normal/
• http://www.friendshipcircle.org/blog/2014/01/27/10-addadhd-blogs-and-forums-you-should-follow/
• https://www.pinterest.com/pin/356277020498494990/
• https://xkcd.com/1106/
• http://stefi-delly.deviantart.com/art/Just-ADHD-Werewolf-Things-04-626540372
• http://supportseekers.info/adhd/
• http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1995/12/31

Discovered: The Oh Hellos

From time to time I enjoy sharing artists, places, shows, games, etc. that I discover that I think a good amount of people might enjoy. I thought it would be a good idea to start this post series, titled Discovered, which will chronicle some of my favorite little-known discoveries that I want to share. I’ve got a really good one that isn’t necessarily a recent discovery, but one that I think a lot of people will like.

I first heard The Oh Hellos when they played some holiday music for NPR’s Tiny Desk Concert series. I instantly fell in love with the family band aesthetic they had going on. The band is really just the siblings Maggie and Tyler Heath, the others are friends and family who fill in for live performances. However, with the exception of the holiday album I believe, the albums/EPs are just the pair, which I was amazed to find out for reasons I will explain later.

I listened to their holiday performance about a million times before buying their holiday EP. It was a rough holiday season for me, which I mostly attribute to the presidential race, but this group helped me find my joyful spirit in time for Christmas. The album is a collection of 4 medley’s, which range from joyful and triumphant to quiet and introspective. I was listening to this album well after the Christmas season, even into February, and have pulled it out from time to time during the spring and summer months when I need an emotional boost.

The best way I think I can characterize the sound is to describe it as Iron and Wine meet Fleet Foxes for Sunday worship. It is somewhere in the Folk/Indie/Pop/Rock spectrum. Their sound calls up a lot of nostalgia for me; their acoustic instrumentation and strong vocals take me back to times like church camp or youth group events, where every third person had an instrument and everyone had a voice, and it just worked. Like the Fleet Foxes, there is a strong emphasis on vocals, to the point it surprises and amazes me that only Maggie and Tyler are the ones singing in these albums. It sounds as if there could be a dozen or so more vocalists behind the band. There is also a fair emphasis on instrumental complexity, which calls to mind bands like Iron and Wine, or the Punch Brothers, or any other of the numerable newgrass/indie/folk groups I tend to gravitate towards. The music on the whole is very well put together on multiple levels; it is thought-evoking and very satisfying to listen to, while also being catchy and singable.

They only have 4 albums (well, 2 albums and 2 EPs), and it’s all available on spotify, itunes, bandcamp, and I believe even soundcloud, and the whole of their music is currently less than $30, so you might as well just get all of their music in one shot.

If you’re looking for one album to start with though, my recommendation is Dear Wormwood. Its full of emotional peaks and troughs, both musically and lyrically, to the point where I found myself in deep thought during one of the tracks, only to be broken out of it and moved nearly to the point of dancing mere tracks later during my first listen. It is a concept album inspired by C.S. Lewis (one of my favorite authors), specifically his book The Screwtape Letters (one of my favorite books by one of my favorite authors).

The Oh Hellos are quickly becoming one of my favorite bands, so they come highly recommended from me. To wet your feet, please enjoy this Tiny Desk Concert from late 2015, back from when the world was innocent of what 2016 would bring.